It’s 12:31 a.m.. Anxiety has found its way into my room and I’m starting to hear words of lies and deceit. Starting to see scenarios replay on the dark side of my walls. Then I come to the realization… I’m not sleeping tonight.
See, the thing about anxiety and/or depression is it’s more common than you think and it happens to the best of us. No, not everyone suffers from it but a lot do. It’s a normal thing to have to deal with. Does it suck? Yeah it sucks. But it’s not going to go away overnight so we might as well talk about it.
First Of All It Sucks
Yeah, it’s here and it absolutely, one hundred percent sucks. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Who wants a designated bully running around in your head? Nobody. But yet here he is telling you how much your life is a waste and how nobody actually likes you.
“You don’t have a job and you’ve got barely any money. You live with your parents. You’re obviously a lowlife. ”
“You said you’d be more productive during the day but you lied. You lack motivation and you’re lazy.”
“Oh he hasn’t texted you or called all week? He doesn’t wanna see you. He doesn’t love you anymore.”
“Your parents gave you a lecture yet again. You’re a disappointment.”
“Hey you know that thing that happened today? It would’ve been different if you just did this…or this…”
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. No they’re not true but the arguments are very convincing and once it’s said it hard not to believe. And once the first thought comes in it invites all the others. Like, excuse you none of you are invited here. Leave, I hate you all.
What Should You Do About It?
You can either be silent or scream. I’m guilty of doing both.
Silence… The key is to find something that will distract and quiet the thoughts roaming through your head. They may seem uncontrollable, which is what they want you to think. Maybe try watching a movie. Maybe try painting (Lol that never works out good for me in the end.) Write, that helps a lot. For me I’ve been playing the piano a whole lot more so if you play an instrument give that a try. Just do not take it out on yourself and do not shut people out. Would you want to be shut out? Probably not, so don’t do it to others. And remember… You can only be silent for so long.
Which leads me to screaming (not literal screaming.) I mean you could do that too, whatever floats your boat. If you want to scream in a pillow f***ing do it. Or go out into the middle of the woods and just let it out dude. I’ve done it before. It helps. You feel like a lunatic but do whatcha gotta do. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Anyway I meant like talk to someone about it. It does wonders for reals. Even if they don’t give feedback it still feels good to just get those thoughts out there. And sometimes you don’t need advice, you just need comfort in knowing someone’s there for you.
I’m extremely blessed and grateful for the people in my life right now because they’re always there for me 24/7. Even though I choose to suffer in silence most of the time when I choose to let it out they always be there. Yeah they may call me crazy (*cough*Jonas*cough*) but we’re all crazy so I’ve learned to quit taking it personally. Anyway that’s all I have for yous today. It’s currently 2:07 a.m. so until next time Stay Safe, Stay Creative, Stay Alive.